Happy New Year Vikings fans! This season, the Vikings’ first game of the new year also gets the recognition of being declared Weasel Stomping Day for the season.
What is Weasel Stomping Day you ask? I don’t blame you if you don’t remember. This is only the third year of its implementation on VFB, and I think I might have forgot to announce it last year. WSD marks the game in which the opponent deserves to be crushed senseless due to recent weasel-like actions that they took against the team.
What better game for this year’s holiday than the one against the weasels of the Packers organization? They started the first game of the season by getting refs to penalize our guys for breathing. It was a big enough statement that our guys had checked out by half time. Those weasels also paid the refs off in the game against Detroit, ensuring that a bogus facemask penalty got called as time expired, giving them another shot at winning the game. Had that not worked, the refs still had plenty of flags in their pockets to keep the game going until a play did work.
These weasels have also been atop the division for far too long. Their weaselly fans have gotten so arrogant, that they need to have their spines stomped out of them repeatedly for many, many years until they finally recede back into the annals of their local KMart, peering out on rare occasions with putrid hopes that they have been able to put something close to what resembles an NFL team back together.
So let’s all put our Vikings helmets on and go cheer for our team to decimate the Weasels in Wisconsin, taking our rightful place atop the division back for this year, and preparing to rule it far into the future!