111 comments on “We, are gonna frickin die.

  1. Jenny, a blonde girl came skipping home from school one day.

    “Mommy, Mommy,” she yelled, “we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10!”

    “Very good,” said her mother.
    “Is it because I’m blonde?” Jenny asked.

    “Yes, it’s because you’re blonde,” said the mommy.

    The next day the girl came skipping home from school.
    “Mommy, Mommy,” she yelled, “We were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!”

    “Very good, Jenny,” said her mother.
    “Is it because I’m blonde, Mommy?”

    “Yes, it’s because you’re blonde.”

    The next day Jenny again came skipping home from school.
    “Mommy, Mommy,” she yelled, “we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!”
    And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs.

    “Very good,” said her embarrassed mother.
    “Is it because I’m blonde, mommy?”

    “No, honey, it’s because you’re 24.

  2. An 86-year-old man went to his doctor for his quarterly check-up…
    The doctor asked him how he was feeling, and the
    86-year-old said, ‘Things are great and I’ve never felt better.’

    I now have a 20 year-old bride who is pregnant with my child.
    “So what do you think about that Doc?”

    The doctor considered his question for a minute and
    then began to tell a story.

    “I have an older friend, much like you, who is an avid hunter
    and never misses a season.”
    One day he was setting off to go hunting.
    In a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his walking
    cane instead of his gun.”
    “As he neared a lake, he came across a very large male beaver
    sitting at the water’s edge..

    He realized he’d left his gun at home and so he couldn’t
    shoot the magnificent creature.
    Out of habit he raised his cane, aimed it at the animal as if
    it were his favorite hunting rifle and went ‘bang, bang’.
    “Miraculously, two shots rang out and the beaver fell over dead. Now, what do you think of that?” asked the doctor.
    The 86-year-old said,
    “Logic would strongly suggest that somebody else
    pumped a couple of rounds into that beaver.”

    The doctor replied , “My point exactly.”

  3. They did an update on our computer system here at my place of gainful employment. Long and short of it is I can’t update the Widget for some reason.

    So-Cal predicted 34-21 Vikes, and he’s not the one who was eating bananas.

    My prediction is 24-21 Vikings. Our D will step up, and Ponder will bubble screen and scramble his usual way to a couple TDs, AP will get his. Walsh adds 3 after a fumble recovery goes nowhere because of playcalling.

  4. “VIKES” SELECT”””JAKE MATHEWS”””””””””””””FIRST PICK””””””””””””””””AND I’M “STICKIN 2 IT””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””””

  5. This will fuel Nova’s hatred for Knobschall…. on PA’s radio show this morning he was asked if he wasn’t the Vikings reporter, what team would you most like to work for? And he answered without a moment of hesitation “Dallas Cowboys”. Hmmmm….

  6. The following players are inactive for the Vikings tonight in their game against the Redskins:
    RB Matt Asiata
    CB Chris Cook
    DT Fred Evans
    G Charlie Johnson
    T Phil Loadholt
    TE Kyle Rudolph
    S Jamarca Sanford

    Offensively, Joe Berger will start in place of Johnson; J’Marcus Webb is in for Loadholt; John Carlson takes Kyle Rudolph’s place.

    On defense, Sharrif Floyd goes in for Guion, Xavier Rhodes is in for Cook, and Mistral Raymond starts instead of Sanford.

    • Wow didn’t expect that, guess we can add another strike to Spielmans draft record. I know Mauti jumped him on the depth chart because he had a couple of series against the Panthers.

    • @iaVIKE,

      Yes, they need to get the ball to Patterson. Maybe Ponder cannot because of his weak arm, and Patterson’s inability to run good routes. (He can only run the bomb, or change it up and come back. Perhaps he is limited in his variety of routes.)

      Someone with a strong arm might remedy his problems? Cassel or Freeman?

    • To my friend and compatriot of misery,

      This is the worst Vikings defense since…ever. Well, the Jones missed 1961-1967, so it’s possible we may have had a worse defense during those years.

      Here is what our defensive halfbacks do, they get behind their man, then let him go “knowing they have deep help.”

      Freaking somebody guard someboodddy!!!

      I don’t really believe the Vikings personnel is that bad. We just are not playing together anymore. There are too many I’s on this team, perhaps because the coaching stinks!!!

      I don’t trust the KFan announcers, they are in cahoots with the coaches.

      Start a high school quarterback, let Loadholt start at QB, do anything other than start Ponder!!!

    • @Titus,

      Well, well, well…the Jones was very wrong, or was it the tale of two halves? In any case we might think that the Christian CAN whip the LIONS over the long haul.

      This Jones still believes that Cassel and Freeman are better QBs. (For sure Cassel looks better throwing interceptions than either Ponder or Freeman. LOL)

      Marcus Sherels may be the best cover guy we have for that last play on #89 who I think is Santana Moss; is he not?

      JaMarcus Webb! We can’t have too many marcus’ or too many webbs’!!!

      But Kevin “The Big Ticket” Williams was the MVP of this game.

      If we win the 3 remaining home games that makes us 5-11. I wish I could believe stronger than that, but more is possible. I’m not ruling out 9-7 for the season!!!

      Ponder played well, perhaps he can develop a big league arm to go with some of his other budding skills and become the Christian Lion Tamer!

  7. The original Frederick Jones is in the minority on this site in believing that swearing says more about the person doing the swearing than it does anything else.

    Not that Jones is perfect, and I do not want censorship on the site.

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